Apparently, I’m only a little bit funny: An introduction.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop in the engineering school, except I don’t drink coffee. So really, I’m just here for the air conditioning and wifi. I also need to be working on something so other people think that I’m an ambitious, goal oriented young person with a sparkly future in a corporate 9 to 5. Haha, just kidding…

This is me introducing myself to you. I’m guessing you already sort of know me, but I really hope you don’t because that means strangers are reading my blog and that’s cool. I didn’t feel a need to write this earlier since I didn’t think people would actually come visit my tiny corner of the internet. But people are! And I take myself very seriously, so I’m writing this anyway. And you take my very seriously, so you’re reading this anyway.

I am Alice Dai. But really, am I? Because if I think, therefore I am? We’ve been talking about the nature of reality in my philosophy class for the past week. It’s mind blowing. Metaphysics, man.

LOL. Anyway.

I am Alice Dai, and I’m (probably) spending the next four years in Durham, North Carolina. There’s a groovy record shop that sells pipes near my dorm. I went into a magic shop the other day, and a seventh-generation séance named Lynn invited me to join her during the full moon so she could “swirl around my positive energy.” I’m in the hipster part of the South. There are lots of cultural nuances here.

I speak Chinese and Spanish. I went to Barcelona and London this summer with my friends Claire, Grace and Keana, and I vlogged our entire adventure. I used my five years of mediocre Spanish skills and asked a middle aged Catalonian man if the bus system accepted credit cards. He said no, “solamente dinero en efectivo.” Imagine that, the product of public education takes on the European Union, sort of.

I own an obscene amount of Converse, and they’re currently in a huge pile on the floor of my closet, next to an unbuilt shoe rack. I can’t find a screwdriver. It’s been three weeks since I’ve moved in. I know.

I auditioned for Duke’s premier improv comedy group, Duke University Improv (DUI), last weekend. The last time I was on a stage was in 5th grade, and I played a bird in a production of James and the Giant Peach. Needless to say, I didn’t make DUI, and it’s kind of a tragedy. Apparently, I’m only a little bit funny. But, I did meet a really sassy character during my audition. We mealed together later that day.

After the mad freshman scramble to adjust to college life, I am realizing how lucky I am to share the same intellectual wavelength as some of the most sociable and brilliant people in the country. Yeah, I didn’t make it through one audition, but I bet the person who did was a lot funnier than me, and I’m okay with that.

I live in Los Altos, California. My engineering professor told us to be specific about our hometowns. So I don’t live 40 minutes south of San Francisco. I don’t live 15 minutes away from Stanford. I won’t air-draw a map of California to help you visualize these things. I live in Los Altos, California. It’s about ten minutes away from Apple’s Cupertino headquarters. Unreliable narrators, gosh!

I also lived in Hockessin, Delaware, until fourth grade. Delawareans are almost extinct, so that’s special. And I was born in Torrance, California.

All of these places are historic landmarks.

I hold lots of romanticized beliefs about lots of things. Like what my future should be. Like what I should accomplish to live a fulfilling life. Like all the magical things college will do to my brain. I bet my future husband is somewhere in the world right now, eating a sandwich as I, too, am eating a sandwich. We’re telepathically synced.

I wonder about all the fascinating people I’ve never met while I’ve distractedly been on my phone. I wonder how different I would be if I didn’t accidentally meet the people in my life who share drastically different lifestyles/beliefs than me, but have also impacted my life the most. I wonder what it feels like to just know that the things you are passionate about are the things you’re supposed to be doing with your life.

I’m just tryna figure out this whole life thing with everybody else.

Here’s a picture of me as a nugget, circa 2009.